You Know You're in the Philippines When...

All you see on tv are telefantasias or soap operas: Dyesebel (starring Marian Rivera and Dingdong Dantes), Diosa (Anne Curtis), Asero (Richard Gutierrez), Iisa Pa Lamang (Claudine "Ay, Putang Ina" Barreto) etc.

The commercials only feature a handful of overrated stars: Sharon Cuneta, Aga Muhlach, Kris Aquino, Judy Ann Santos, Richard Gutierrez, etc. Can't they get real models?

You tune in on the radio and all you hear are revivals. Where art thou composers? Nowadays, you could hear Charice Pempengco, the toast of Vegas, singing a Whitney Houston's classic, "I Will Always Love You". At her age, she should be singing Miley Cyrus songs. Oh, I hate it when I hear the Tagalog version of "Umbrella".  

Every minute you see on tv, commercials where you could win 1 million pesos and all you have to do is text or send proofs of purchase, like 3 shampoo sachets, 2 bottle caps, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Every corner you see Starbucks or a fast food restaurant. We really love to eat. In fact, you'll never go hungry in the Philippines 'cause some restos are open 24 hours. This is what I like about Manila. I miss the squid balls in Ayala.

You see people walking on the streets and suddenly some body fluids are squirted from noses or mouths. Ewww!

The malls don't run out of real and fake shoppers buying real and fake goods.

Everywhere you go, you'll see someone holding a cellphone and texting away.

People sell peanuts, iced water or C2s in buses.

The buses and MRT coaches are packed like freakin' sardines during rush hour. Why can't the government buy more coaches?

Ah, the beauty of the Philippines....